


"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take"

by Ailward



Category: League of Legends, League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Eventual Romance, Feels, First Kiss, First Love, Fnatic, Gaming, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-08-19 08:50:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20207035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailward/pseuds/Ailward
Summary: A story following Nemesis and Rekkles on their journey to League of Legends championship finals and their growing friendship (romance).If you are unfamiliar with League of Legends, some parts of this fiction might be hard to understand.I'll put descriptions of certain game phrases in the notes at the beginning of each chapter.Please, enjoy!





	1. “Let’s meet them in finals"

**Author's Note:**

> Rekkles = Martin  
Nemesis = Tim  
Broxah = Mads
> 
> Scrims: A scrim is an online practice match against several players or teams.
> 
> Playoffs: One of a series of games played after the regular season to decide which teams will advance to play for the championship.
> 
> Seed: Think of seeds as tiers. Teams that are "first seed" are guaranteed to not face the "first seed" of another region during the group stage. So the statistical best team in China will not face the statistical best team of Korea during the group stage, they can only face 2nd, 3rd or wildcard/qualifier teams. This is to prevent two potential finalists from eliminating eachother in the first round.

The playoffs were getting closer and Tim was feeling nervous. It’s not like they were playing particularly bad. Their game was unusually inconsistent for the last few weeks and Tim had no idea how they could fix it. After all these months he finally felt like Fnatic was truly becoming his home, despite his doubts about staying in the team for the next season. When he was first chosen for the former roster, things didn’t go as planned. He had hard time adjusting to the new lifestyle, but with the great help of his teammates and Fnatic staff, he finally felt like he made it. 

So it killed him that now, when he finally found his voice in game and their play style was nearly perfectly coordinated, they still lacked synergy, one of the most important factors of the game. The worst part was the others had started noticing it as well, considering the commentators pointing it out in the post game interviews. In the team, barely mentioning it was awkward. Every time their coach brought it up, it created an uneasy tension between the players and left them silent. Their dream of finals suddenly felt almost unreachable and players were drifting apart even more. It started with Rekkles, or so his teammates told him one night, after a particularly bad defeat against G2.

Pretty much everyone in the team knew Rekkles had problems. It wasn’t exactly a secret in the team, yet no one spoke of it in front of Martin, preferring to talk about it when he wasn’t around, or not at all. That night Mads briefly explained him what had happened. The older boy told him what he knew, even though he was still unsure of it himself, since everything started even before he joined Fnatic, almost three years ago. 

Rekkles would start acting strangely and at first no one thought anything of it, he said. It was normal after all, for a player to feel down especially if they were under preforming. It happened to everyone and players would eventually get out of and start acting again like their normal, cheerful selves. Sometimes all it took were encouraging or comforting words from their teammates, but that didn’t work for Rekkles, No matter how much they tried telling him it wasn’t his fault, their efforts were pointless as Rekkles slowly became quieter, he barely touched food at times and he would rarely speak to his teammates. But then, after a few weeks, it got better, Broxah said. It always got and suddenly he was back to his cheerful self and everyone forgot about it. Until a year ago, when he stopped eating at all and lost a lot of weight in a short period of time. That’s when Joey, their coach, finally had it enough and called for a private meeting with Rekkles. Nobody knew what happened between them but they likely came to some kind of an agreement. After a few more team meetings with the staff, everything pretty much calmed down, Rekkles got a therapist and the heavy tension in the gaming house finally disappeared. For a time being everything was alright, they were doing great in playoffs and all the way ’til the finals.

"It was bound to happen again", Broxah said. "No therapist works magic and well, things have been awkward with Martin ever since. Nobody knew what to say to him and we didn’t know which themes we shouldn’t bring up, so we just pretended that everything was normal, and for some time, it felt like it was." He finished speaking with a worried expression. 

It was happening again, Tim knew that. Rekkles was awfully quiet in games and even outside of it, making bad excuses and locking himself in the room. Yet nobody knew what to say to him with everyone being too cautious to actually say anything. Tim hated that. He hated it because he knew how kind Martin was, how his presence used to cheer everybody up. And most of all, he hated it because at some point, he knew how Rekkles felt. He knew how much strength it took to face mental issues and how scary it was when suddenly everyone around knew about it. He felt Martins shame and uneasiness like it was his own, because at some point in the past, it was. Long time ago he promised to himself to never speak of it again. It hurt too much, the shame still burned deep inside, making him feel weak and vulnerable. He was not brave as Rekkles, who faced his problems and told the truth. He was scared of how would others react, knowing their reaction towards Rekkles. He knew they wouldn’t look at him the same, yet he couldn’t just stand aside and watch his teammate being treated the way he was. Tim felt his heart stammering inside his chest, yet his decision was final. Tomorrow, he would speak to Rekkles, in private. Tomorrow, he would tell him he wasn’t the only one facing mental illness. 

When the morning came, Tim knew he made the right decision. He hadn’t had a blink of sleep last night, stressing most of the night what he would say to Rekkles. Worry stealing away his sleep was nothing unusual for the young player. Most of the his teammates, as well as the fans, believed it was just his casual look, with bags under his eyes and everything. Tim wasn’t fond of correcting them anyways. He made it through the morning trying not to stress, and about two coups of coffee and an energy drink later, he felt ready to start the scrims. Despite Tim hating the coffee, it was a necessity in his life. The whole morning and the team meeting Tim waited for a moment with Rekkles, which didn’t appear until the end of the scrims. He didn’t care what it looked like, as he walked towards the older player while others were packing their gear. 

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He quickly asked, trying to keep the conversation private – and desperately failed as he felt more than one pair of the eyes focusing on him.  
Rekkles stilled and looked at him, his eyes widening in surprise. It was quite unusual conversation for sure, as the boys were quietly avoiding each other since the beginning. But then Rekkles nodded, signaling him to go on. 

"I meant in private, if that’s alright." Tim quickly added as the room around them fell into nervous silence.

Rekless shrugged and pointed him to follow. Even as Tim quickly followed him out of the room, he couldn’t escape the wary looks from his teammates. Tim suddenly grew anxious, unsure of what to say as they walked towards Martins room. Sometimes, words felt too complicated, and even on his good day he had problems expressing himself. Yet he brought all his courage up as Rekkles gave him a questioning look. 

"I know how you feel." He blurted out and felt the blush spread through his cheeks. Abruptly he realized that was not what he wanted to say at all.

"I mean, I don’t know how you really feel but..." he took a deep breath and tried to calm down his nerves before he continued "I’ve been through it, you know. I know how it feels when suddenly no one treats you the same, like you can break anytime. It’s bad and I know we weren’t friends in the past months but.. If it ever feels too much or you just wanna talk, like, about anything really, I’m here." Here, he finally said it, the words were out, and it was probably one of the scariest moments of his life. Yet Martin didn’t look angry, his expression was rather unreadable.

"You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. Look I know I’ve been under preforming and I’m trying to fix it, so really you don’t-"

"That’s not about it!" Tim interrupted him, practically shouting. God, it was just so awkward and Tim started feeling like this wasn’t a good idea in the first place. 

"Look. I’ve been in your place. I... I have anxiety and I practically can’t sleep and sometimes I get panic attacks while no one is watching and I try to act like I just don’t give a fuck about anything, which is far from the truth, trust me. And it’s so hard when I feel like no one understands me and I’m alone in this, cause I can’t tell anyone about it. So yeah, they’ve told me what happened and I just want you to know that you aren’t alone in this." He finally said.

Rekkles looked taken aback, and maybe it wasn’t the worst expression he could imagine, since the older boy wasn’t looking as angry as Tim thought he would.

Then Rekkles huffed in surprise, and finally looked at Tim, eye to eye, like he hasn’t looked at anyone in weeks and yep, Tim undeniably counted it as a win. 

"I definitely didn’t expect that. Sorry." Martin said quietly. "I guess I never thought that any of you could have the same.. issues as me. So I apologize, if I reacted too harshly. But yeah, you’re right. It gets pretty hard sometimes and I know they are trying their best but... it’s just so awkward and I also never know what to say."

Tim nodded, he knew the feeling all too well. 

"Do you regret it? Telling them, I mean." He asked. 

Rekkles shrugged like it didn’t bother him, yet his body was unusually tense.

"I didn’t tell them.« He finally said. »The coach did, he thought it would be for the best to let everyone know."

"That’s crazy. It should be your decision, not his." Tim answered.

Rekkles gave him a sad smile. 

"What’s done is done, no need to stress about it now. In the end I think it was for the best. And well, the therapist really helps me... What about you? Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it with anyone?"

Tim furiously shook his head. "No, man, I’m good. Well not really, but I still prefer it over... you know, anyone else knowing it. I’m not ready."

"I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry." Tim visibly relaxed at that and awkwardly smiled at the older boy. 

"So yeah, that’s all I wanted to tell you. So, you know, hit me up sometimes, if you’d like? It must be boring locking yourself in your room all day..." He finished talking and looked at Martin. 

The older boy nodded and after the awkward silence, where none of them knew what to say, quietly thanked him.  
"And Tim... it works in both ways, you know. You can always come and talk to me If you’d like to." He added, just as Tim was leaving his room. 

Overall, the conversation went surprisingly well. Tim felt a little lighter, coming from Martins room. He knew he made the right decision, when Rekkles actually smiled for a moment. For once, Tim was able to sleep that night. 

The next week went on normally, without any complications. Luckily, there was no embarrassment between the boys after the conversation they had. Tim often replayed it in his head, worrying if maybe he said anything weird, yet all the tension disappeared when Rekkles gave him an acknowledging nod at him after the scrims. They weren’t friends, per say, but they felt somewhat closer. Yet none of them started the conversation again and Tim wasn’t sure if it was his place to start it anyways. He gave Martin a chance to speak and he respected his decision, even if that meant ignoring him for the rest of their time together. He worried about the older boy, in his own way, which contained lot’s of restless nights. 

One casual night, Tim couldn’t sleep at all. For a long time, he was he was tossing around in bed until he finally had enough. With exhausted steps he went downstairs in the kitchen and suddenly noticed he wasn’t alone. Martin was sitting at the table, slowly sipping his juice, buried deep inside the book he was reading, careless of the world around him. 

"Can’t sleep?" Tim asked as he grabbed juice from the fridge. Rekkles finally noticed him, his eyes tired from exhaustion as he yawned. "Nah, you?" He answered and Tim shrugged as he sat down next to Martin. They sat in comfortable silence, Tim staring somewhere in the darkness of the living room as Martin continued reading his book. It felt comfortable and peaceful and Tim actually felt himself drifting off. It was unusual, for sure, but strangely relaxing. 

"What do you think about tomorrows game?" He asked him after some time. 

"I think we have it. Hyli and I’ve been practicing Garen Yuumi bot for like a month now. I think it’s finally time to play it. Depends on their draft though." Martin answered.

"Yeah, you’re gonna destroy them in the late. You gotta pick it, even Joey agreed to it after all."

Martin looked at him reluctantly. 

"Honestly, I’m not worried about Vitality. The week after that we’re playing against Splyce and I feel like the game is gonna be much harder. Better to troll now that later when we battle for the second seed.«"

"Hey, we’re not trolling. G2 does it all the time."

"But they are G2. Their champion pool is just unreal, they can play anything. And the trust they have in each other is just insane. I just wish we could reach their level before the worlds. Seems impossible though."

Tim stayed quiet this time. Every time their team talked about G2, Martin sounded the most realistically and defeated. Yes, G2 were the best team in LEC right now and they did win MSI earlier in the year. Still, he wished Martin would give himself some credit. 

»Do you miss him?« He asked. 

Rekkles knew who he was talking about, of course. And he wanted to be honest with the younger boy. Yet he felt reluctant answering it, as he saw the expression on Tims face. He looked insecure, which was something he rarely saw on Tim. He quickly decided the expression didn’t suit him at all. 

"Sometimes." He finally answered. "I think everyone missed him at some point. And don’t think it’s your fault. You are a great player." Martin looked at Tim, he wanted to make sure younger boy understood they were not comparing him to Caps. 

"It’s just that I wish we trusted each other more last season, so we could use his full potential. But I think he’s better off with G2. He never fit in with our playstyle, considering his crazy picks. But now, with G2.."

Martin frowned as he searched for the words to express his thoughts.

"It’s like they’re all the same person, just playing different roles. It’s scary how great it works."

Tim felt completely awake as he listened to Rekkles, despite it being in the middle of the night. No one ever said anything similar about G2 before. But it made sense and Tim had to agree, it was scary. 

"Still, we can’t just give up, you know. We’ve come a long way and in the end, there will be two teams fighting in the finals. Someone has to go aganst them, so let’s make sure it’s us. We still have time to improve and anything can still happen.”

Rekkles looked at Tim for a moment and then, all of a sudden, smiled at him. 

“You’re right, you know. I was stressing too much about it.” He yawned and stretched his arms, then looked at Tim, his lips still perked up into a smile.

“Let’s meet them in finals. And for now, let’s try to get some sleep. I feel like Joey is gonna abuse us today with practicing, before we face Vitality tomorrow.” 

Tim nodded and stood up from the chair. He picked up their empty glasses and put them into the sink. He might get some sleep after all.


	2. Who else would be keeping you up all night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyli = Hylissang = Zdravets 
> 
> Joey = YoungBuck
> 
> Bwipo = Gabriël
> 
> I think they're the only members of Fnatic I haven't mentioned in the first chapter. (:
> 
> Enjoy!

Rekkles smiled as he hugged Hyli just after the nexus exploded on his screen. They’ve won against Vitality, the adrenaline still rushing through their veins. This game was fun, he thought. He began to understand why G2 liked to pick crazy champs. It wasn’t just for the fans, it made the game generally more exciting for the players as well, taking all the risk. They celebrated the win, the atmosphere in the team was cheerful and relaxed. He missed times like this, when the players simply enjoyed each others company, without having to worry how they are going to preform in the next game. Even the post game interview, which most of the players disliked to participate it, went quite well. He and Broxah answered the questions honestly, which casters always seemed to appreciate. He got the MVP of the game as Garen bot and for once, people talked about their mach more than they did about G2. He was so proud of the boys, knowing how much work they put into preparation for the game. The light mood didn’t vanish even when they arrived back to their gaming house.

Everyone seemed to be on the same page, as none of the players went back to their rooms. They sat on the sofa and talked as Bwipo brought the liquor from the kitchen cabinets. They all wanted to celebrate and have a good time together. They’ve been too tense for the last few weeks and some relaxed team bonding couldn’t hurt anyone, despite their overcrowded schedules which required waking up at early hours. Just as Bwipo started pouring whiskey shots, Joey excused himself and bid good night to the team. 

“Alright, boys. It was a good game today and we’ll go through it in the morning. For now, relax and celebrate, because tomorrow is a new day and I won’t go easy on you. Also Gabriel, as you’re the most mature one, make sure they drink responsibly. I don’t want any of you complaining about the headaches tomorrow.” Joey said before he left the room. 

Suddenly there were shots of whiskey in front of the players. Bwipo gave Rekkles a questioning look as he dealt shots to them and Martin shook his head. Even if he was fond of alcohol when he was younger, his medications now prevented him from drinking. 

“What exactly are we celebrating?” Nemesis asked. He was siting comfortably on the futon, his chin resting on knees. 

Bwipo paused for a moment, like he was actually thinking about the question.

“It’s Broxahs birthday.” He then simply answered. Nemesis raised his eyebrows.

“Mads has birthday in two days.” He blankly stated and Rekkles snickered. 

The truth was, they didn’t need a reason to celebrate. Mads was a heavy drinker, given the chance. He was also the only one who could take his alcohol. Hylissang just turned into a mess every time there was alcohol involved and he was honestly entertaining to watch. Bwipo being Bwipo, never got to the point of being heavily drunk. Martin had no idea what kind of drunk Tim was, as he never saw him actually drinking. Even now, when everyone else was eagerly drinking their shots, his glass stayed full of the liquor. 

Bwipo finally stopped refilling Broxahs shots and turned back towards Tim. 

“Yeah, but we won’t have time to celebrate in the middle of the week. We’ll be busy practicing scrims and everything. You know how it is.” He answered and this time Tim remained silent. 

He didn’t express any interest in joining their conversation as he settled back comfortably on the futon. The time went by, full of cheerful laughter and loud conversations. At some point, Hyli moved to the other side of the sofa, so he was leaning on Broxah . His cheeks were pink and eyes little dozy. There was a hazy smile displayed on his mouth as he talked. Soon, his hand found Broxahs, neither of them noticing it as their fingers touched and fondled together. It looked so natural and it took Nemesis by surprise. He had no idea what to think about it, he never even thought about the possibility that his teammates had a thing. He had no idea what else to call it. Were they just friends, being overly cuddly with each other? Or were they actually together? So many questions came rushing on his mind he felt overwhelmed. 

None of them seemed to share the same concerns, as they continued talking as if nothing had happend. Tim didn’t know why it bothered him so much. He wasn’t a homophobe, far from that, but he was feeling strangely uncomfortabe. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to casually touch someone like his teammates just did. It was strange, unfamiliar and it made him ashamed. Ashamed that they were able to be openly affectionate with each other while he struggled even holding a conversation with them. He was so shy and self-conscious. His heart started beating faster the more he thought about it, he was panicking.

Tim stood from the futon and excused himself as he went out of the room. He needed some fresh air to relax so he opened the door and went on the balcony. It was already dark outside, the chilly wind sennt shivers through his body. The distant sound of traffic relaxed him as he leaned against the balcony fence. 

Suddenly he tensed as he heard the steps from somewhere behind and a figure walked towards him. Martin leaned against the fence in a similar way and looked somewhere in the distance as they stood in silence. Tim wondered what was he doing here as it was obvious the older boy followed him. He didn’t ask any questions, just relaxed his previously tense body and stared at the night, waiting for Martin to speak.  
“They usually aren’t that affectionate with each other, you know. It happens if Hyli drinks too much.« He finally said, still not looking at Tim.

"Okay... Why are you telling me that?" Tim asked but he already knew the answer. He obivously looked troubled back in the living room, yet he didn’t expect anyone to notice.

"You seemed..." Martin frowned as he thought about it.. "bothered by it."

Tim frantically shook his head. "It’s not like that. I don’t think it’s weird or anything. Please, don’t think that I do."

Rekkles stared at him like he was deciding if he should believe him or not »Alright.« He finally said and they fell into the silence again. After some time, Tim relucantly looked at Martin. No matter how hard he tried, couldn’t stop wondering if Hyli or Broxah were actually together. He wanted to ask Rekkles, yet at the same time he was scared it would sound rude. In the end his curiosity won.

"Are they together? Like a couple?" He asked Martin. It would be highly unusual as the players didn’t show any sings of affection outside of todays events. Maybe they were just good at hiding it, he thought. Wouldn’t be the first ones.

Rekkles huffed, he looked fairly amused. 

"No, I don’t believe they are. Would it be a problem, thought? If they were together?."

Tim considered it. Would it bother him if his teammates were together? Very unlikely. Tim grew fond of them through the months they’ve spent together. He didn’t really care about their sexual orientation, or if they were dating each other, as long as it didn’t effect their team. 

"No. I don’t think so." He answered quietly. 

»That’s good, I’d hate to see if Bwipo giving you the talk."

Tim gave him a questioning look.

"What are you talking about?"

"We used to have openly gay players on the team. Some of them were in relationship and there were some players that were bothered by it. So, normally, Bwipo gave them the talk about how any negative attitude towards them won’t be tolerated. It was super awkward but it helped. We figured it out on our own, without actually having to talk to the coach about it. It was pretty hilarious and we used to joke about it a lot."

"Now I’m sad I wasn’t there to heart him scolding other players." Tim jokingly said.

"Don’t worry, there will be lot’s of chances in the future." Martin replied with a soft voice.

It was like the older player was actually getting fond of him. In the last few days they talked more than they did in months. The conversation was never too serios as both of them avoided any harsh themes. It scared him how easy it was to talk to Martin, how he was never at loss at words which otherwise happened to him so often. 

It was getting colder, Tim noticed as the chilly wind blew stronger. Despite it being a late summer night, the temperatures were increasingly dropping the more they talked. It was getting late and in the back of his mind he wondered what the other boys were doing back in the warm living room. He didn’t want to end the conversation for the sake of getting out of the cold, yet couldn’t resist the shivers as the cold wind swirled around them. 

"We should go back inside. It’s getting pretty cold.« Martin said as he noticed Tim shaking from the cold. The younger boy nodded and followed him inside. It was strange how Martin noticed every little thing about Tim.

The house was warm and unexpectedly quiet. Tim wondered if the other players already went to sleep. He was getting quite tired himself, nevertheless he followed Martin back into the living room. All three of them were still here, in the same position as they were before they left, excluding their shot glasses that were now empty and the whisky bottle was considerably emptier. Hyli was dozing off, his head leaning against Broxahs shoulder. Their hands were still locked and Tim briefly noticed Broxah was murmuring a song as he stared somewhere in the distance, unaware of the two boys standing in the middle of the living room. 

Bwipo briefly nodded at them in acknowledgment, then proceeded to quickly type on his phone. Martin had a knowing look on his face as he walked towards Bwipo. He leaned down to read the messages on his phone. 

"Are you annoying your girlfriend again?" He asked with a unusually cheerful voice.

"And what if I do? And it’s not like I’m annoying her, she wouldn’t be with me if I were, would she?" Gabriel frowned. 

He usually talked to his girlfriend in the evenings as they both had busy schedules. That’s when they could relax and talk about their day. He missed her a lot, especially now that playoffs were at stake and he was slowly burning out, not that he would ever admit it. 

"I think you guys are cute." Rekkles answered.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You think every couple is cute anyways."

"I’m just glad you have someone you care about."

"Speaking of which, how’s Isabelle?" Bwipo asked as he looked at him. 

Martin’s smile faltered a little. "We broke up." He said quietly.

"Shit man, I’m sorry. What went wrong?"

"We just weren’t... I don’t know. We kind of just went for it and I guess I wasn’t ready to commit."

"Ah, don’t say that. You aren’t the type who would enjoy summer flings. What really happened, Martin?"

At this point both players forgot Tim, who silently wondered since when do all of his teammates appear to be in a relationship, stood next to them. 

"She really wanted to rush into it. Even when I’ve told her I wasn’t ready, to give me more time. And well, there were some other issues as well. I guess we just weren’t compatible." He shrugged.

Bwipo nodded at that, those were the reasons he could understand. He met a lot of players who preferred non commited relationships or one night stands and he knew Martin wasn’t one of them. He was glad Martin didn’t look too upset about it. It’s been a long time since the ad carry had a thing with anyone, really. And the last time he did, turned out a be a disaster, he sourly remembered. He knew Martin fell hard if the person was right. He just wished the next one would treat him as he deserves. 

Bwipo put down the phone and looked up at Tim, who was frowning again. He did a lot of that recently, he noticed.

"What about you, Tim? Do you have a girlfriend?" He asked. Tim lifted his eyebrows, as the questions distracted him from whatever thoughts he had. 

"No. I don’t." He simply said. 

"Whaat? I totally thought you do. Who else would be keeping you up all night? Don’t think that we didn’t notice you look like you didn’t sleep for weeks." Gabriel looked genuinely confused.

"Relationships aren’t really my thing. Waste of time." Tim shrugged casually, yet his body was tense. It was obvious talking about it made him uncomfortable. Or maybe it was just Rekkles, noticing things about the other boy that no one else did. Since the day Tim and he had a conversation, he was giving the younger boy much more attention. He never noticed how easy it was to read his expressions and now he was intrigued by it. 

"Tim, man, I know you feel like there’s no time for anything else than League. But you gotta live a little and relax." Gabriel said with a concerned expression.

"Yeah well, maybe I don’t want to." He snapped at Bwipo. 

There was an awkward silence as none of them knew what to say. It was the first time Tim ever snapped at anyone, really, which left both of his teammates speechless.Tim frowned at their expressions. 

"Look, I’m sorry. I’m just tired so... I’ll go to bed. See you guys tomorrow." He mumbled an awkward excuse and quickly left the room. His heart was rapidly beating in his chest. 

Back in the living room, Gabriel and Martin looked at each other in confusion. 

"What was that about? Did I say anything weird?" Bwipo finally asked. Martin shrugged. 

"Well, he’s an odd one. But he was right though, it’s getting late. I somehow gotta wake up those idiots and escort them to their beds." He said as he looked at Hyli and Broxah who were peacefully sleeping on the sofa. 

He looked back at Martin with pleading eyes. "Will you help me?"

Rekkless huffed as he picked Hyli up by his arms. The support said something unintelligible as he continued dozing off against Martin.

"Jesus, Gabriel, how much did they drink?" He asked as was finally picked Zdravets up and half carried him across the room. 

2I’m not really sure, based of the remaining whiskey, I’d say quite a lot." Gabriel said. He had a hard time following him, as Mads was much bigger and heavier than Hyli. 

Both players were exhausted after they carried their teammates to their beds. They were sure neither of them will remember it in the morning. 

2I’m concerned about Tim." Gabriel said after some time. 

"What do you mean?"

"He looks like he hasn’t slept for like a week, Martin. Don’t say you didn’t notice it as well. For a while, I was really sure he had a girlfriend or someone that distracted him from sleeping. But now.. I don’t know." He finished with a worried expression. 

"Hey, I know he doesn’t talk much, but I’m sure he’d tell us if something was wrong." Rekkles said.

Martin knew that wasn’t the truth, but after all, he promised Tim he wouldn’t tell a soul about his problems. It felt like even opening up to Martin was a big step for Tim. He wanted to give the mid laner space and make him feel comfortable enough to talk to them at his own pace. For now, it was working. 

Gabriel seemed satisfied with his answer as he nodded and bid him good night as both of them went to sleep. 

When he was comfortably wrapped in the blankets of his bed, Martin couldn’t stop but wonder about the younger player. The feeling that something wasn’t quite right had been bugging him a while, ever since he saw Tim’s reaction earlier this evening. He was sure Tim would tell them if something was truly wrong. 

He really, really hoped he was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, I'd love to hear your opinion on this chapter! Do you think the chapters should be longer? Also, I've been following the real timeline and their actual schedules and I've intended to do so through this entire fanfiction. But now I fear I'll run out of ideas since the Words Finale is on 11th of November. (Hope I get the tickets, Paris, here I come.) I've kind of intended to write it as if G2 and Fnatic will face each other in the Finals and as much as I believe it will happen, there is a chance someone else will play in the Finals and that would kind of ruin the whole story (and my life). 
> 
> What are your thoughts about it? I'm thinking about fast forwarding the story... 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	3. "Do you want to duo with me?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Broken legs but I chase perfection,  
These walls are my blank expression,  
My mind is a home I'm trapped in,  
And it's lonely inside this mansion.
> 
> Mansion - NF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! 
> 
> I took some time off to decide on how I will continue this fanfiction. I've decided to stick with the IRL time and their actual schedules. Just remember that this is still a fanfiction and a lot of things are made up, even though I try to include as much of the actual events.
> 
> This chapter was actually too long so I split it in two parts, the second part is coming out this week. I can't thank you enough for all of your comments, they really helped me with my decision. You guys are the reason I keep writing it. :)
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!

The match against Splyce was only a few days away and the team was completely focused on the practice.  
So much was at stake and everyone felt the importance of securing the second seed, to prove their fans they were still the second best team in Europe.  
They practiced hard, the casual fooling around in the rift was long gone from their scrims. They did well and on most of the exhausting evenings Joey finished their practice with a confident smile and assurance of their victory.

They practiced like nothing else mattered and it showed, yet Tim sometimes wondered if they weren’t too confident for their own good. His own scores were fine and so were his overall performances, at least that’s what the coach has been telling him. Tim still felt like something was missing from his game so he kept playing long into the nights when everyone else was asleep. Or so he thought.

One peaceful night, when the gaming house was too quiet for any the players to still be awake, he finally turned off the computer after playing solo for hours, despite their scrims earlier the day. 

He quietly slipped from his room, scared of waking any of his teammates sleeping in the rooms next to his and walked into the bathroom.

He quickly undressed, too tried to properly fold his clothes, throwing them on the floor before he got into the shower. The cold water did wonders to his exhausted mind, waking him up and cooling his body from the hot summer temperatures. Shower was usually the only time of the day when he could properly relax, since falling asleep was a much harder task for the boy. He relaxed as he closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the moment. 

For some time, the only sound he heard was the constant spray of water. Then, suddenly, even though he was unsure of it, Tim heard the quiet steps from somewhere around the house. He held his breath as he wait for whoever it was, probably one of the players searching for snacks, to pass the bathroom. Yet the sound of steps didn’t disappear, instead they became louder until-

"Shit", he cursed as he rushed out from the shower, grabbed the first towel he saw and wrapped it around his waist, just as the the door was being opened. He must’ve forgotten to lock the doors, though he did not imagine anyone else in need of showering at this hour. 

The last thing he wanted was for one of his teammates to find him awake in the middle of the night. They already gave him enough shit for looking like death itself in the mornings and constantly pressured him to rest more. 

»Hey, I know it’s late, I just-« his sentence was cut as Rekkles appeared in front of him, still wearing his casual clothes and holding pyjamas in both hands. There was an awkward silence as both of the players stared at each other in surprise. Martin briefly glanced at his dripping wet body, his breath faltering for a second, before his their eyes met again. There was a puzzling look on blondes face as he kept staring at Tim. The younger boy started blushing at the unexpected attention.

"Can’t sleep?" Martin finally asked and there was no judgement in his voice.

"Yeah, I just finished playing." Tim answered honestly. Martin nodded at that, still staring at Tim with a funny look.

"Same here. I came to shower and didn’t notice it was occupied. Sorry." 

"It’s okay, I’ve just finished. I should’ve locked, but I didn’t expect anyone to be up this late. Anyways, you can go on." Tim awkwardly pointed to the shower and and rushed to grab his clothes from the floor. 

Martin’s voice stopped him just as he was leaving the bathroom. 

"Tim?" He asked quietly, like he was unsure of whatever he was about to ask. 

"Yeah?" Tim turned around to face the older player.

"Do you want to duo with me? Tomorrow evening? I’m getting pretty bored of solo queuing all the time." Martin asked with a fond voice. 

"Yeah, sure." Tim answered, surprised by the question but fond of the idea. He was still aware of the fact that he was blushing like a girl and he desperately needed to get out of the room before he was able to embarrass himself even more. 

"Good night, Martin." He quickly bid him and closed the door. He still heard a muffed "Goodnight, Tim" as he rushed to his room, his heart beating rapidly. 

This must’ve been one of the strangest conversations Tim had in a long time. He swiftly realized he was still wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. Just a moment ago he was half naked, talking to his teammate in the bathroom and it didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. And that was the strangest realization. His body always made him feel insecure and he didn’t like to show it, on camera or in person. It was just his thing, and it felt like a win when he finally felt comfortable enough to stop wearing long sleeves under his Fnatic jersey in the competitive matches. 

He truly believed if it was anyone else than Martin, things would have been awkward. He had no idea why he felt so comfortable in the older boys presence, yet he didn’t question it. He rather appreciated the strange comfort he found in Martins presence. 

The next day scrims went as usual. After long morning hours for grinding they discussed their potential draft picks and Joey, as always, had lots of ideas.

Honestly, Corki and Azir matches were starting to bore Tim, yet he never complained about it to the team. He’d do anything to win a game, even if that meant playing with the most boring champions in the current meta. 

"What about Cassiopeia?" Rekkles interruped their conversation. All of the eyes were suddenly on him. It was unusual for him to speak, as he was quiet for most of the time they discussed draft picks. 

"What do you mean?" Joey asked. 

"Nemesis could play Cassiopeia. She’s pretty op at the moment." Tim looked at him in shock. It could've been a pure coincidence, but he practiced Cassiopeia a lot in soloq for the last month. He never played her on scrims though, only on his smurf account, that none of his teammates were aware of. Or so he thought until today, at least. 

"I mean, in theory, it could work. You played her recently, Tim?" Joey asked as he thought about it.

"Yeah. I think she’s pretty good." Tim answered. 

"I honestly don’t remember the last time we picked her in a match. I guess we can practice her in scrims and see how it goes."

It took them some time to figure out their other mid lane options, yet as they finished all of them were confident in their draft. 

Throughout the day, Nemesis was getting nervous. He never particularly enjoyed playing duo with his teammates, he rather played it with his friends, just so their in game conversations weren’t as awkward.

His team wasn’t like G2, who randomly decided to do a trio 24 hours stream a day before their match for the first seed. Tim was sure they wouldn’t do it, no matter of their tweets about it. 

In the end, he wasn’t even sure if Rekkles was serious about them duoing today. Maybe it was just a random though that appeared great in the middle of the night, when he couldn’t think straight anymore. He kept worrying about it until a few hours later, when he heard a solft knock on his door. It couldn’t be Broxah, as his knocking was much louder and harder. Bwipo usually forgot his manners and invaded his room just as he pleased, careless of what Tim was doing in there. He rarely spoke to Hyli anyways, so he knew it wasn’t the Belgian player. 

"Come in." He shouted just as he succefuly destroyed the enemy nexus. He turned around, facing Martin, who briefly looked at the VICTORY displayed on his screen, before their eyes met.

"Wanna play?" Rekkles asked.

"Yeah, sure." The younger boy answered, visibly relieved. So much for his concerns. There was still one thing bugging him. "Why did you tell them Cassiopeia could be a good pick?" He quickly asked. 

Martin frowned, as he thought about it. "You’re Clearlove Fanboy, aren’t you?" He asked, yet the blonde already knew the answer. He left the room just after he added a quiet "I’ll invite you." and left the younger boy speechless. Rekkles knew. And Tim had no idea how to feel about that. 

They were in queue when Tim finally noticed it. "Wait, you’re playing support?" He asked in surprise. Rekkles didn’t play supports. Ever. Not since his infamous Janna match that got him benched. 

"Yes, I got bored of ADC."

"Wait then, I’m changing my role. I don’t want to play MID either. I did it only because I thought you’d pick ADC." Tim said and changed his role. Not like he was nervous playing on bot with Rekkles or anything. 

It should’ve been awkward as they waited in queue. Nemesis should've have nervously wondered what to say or if to say anything at all. He should’ve been thinking about useless ways to start a conversation, just to kill the tense silence, knowing that in the end he wouldn’t say anything at all.

But the awkward and unsure tension never came. He put on the playlist so his favorite songs were quietly playing in the background as they waited. Rekkles was scrolling on the Instagram, Tim could hear the sound of the Instagram stories. It was perfectly fine as it was. They didn’t force conversation and the silence between them felt comfortable. 

They finally got into a match.

"Should I pick you Draven?" Martin asked as he was the first to pick when saw Tims preference.

"Yeah, If you want to. Draven’s pretty broken right now. I wonder if any of the teams will play him in LEC."

"Unlikely, I’d say. Only if G2 pulls out something crazy again." Rekkles answered as he first picked Draven. 

As both Teams chose their champions, it was Tims time to pick. 

"Which support do you want?" 

"I think Rakan... yeah, pick me Rakan." 

"Sure." 

They exchanged the champions and the game began. It was no different than any other of the thousands of games Tim played, yet he felt unusual excitement playing it. Deep down he knew he wanted to prove himself to Rekkles, which was foolish – he knew that. He proved himself over and over again and the blonde didn’t doubt in his abilities, Martin probably knew his limits as precisely as he did.

It was easy to shout calls to the other boy, as he responded quickly and efficiently. His plays tyle was different than Hylis, who sometimes went beast mode and made insane plays which won them the games, or sometimes totally inted when he was too greedy and didn’t read the situation well. 

Rekkles played calm and calculated and sometimes pointed out things even Nemesis didn’t realize. Neither of them took the lead of making calls, they kept exchanging the role of a shotcaller. It worked good and the bot lane quickly got the lane priority. Rekkles didn’t roam once in the early game, despite given the chances, he stuck to Nemesis side and helped him get fed instead. 

With a fed Draven and a decent jungler, who was able to camp top since the bot lane was winning, they easily won the game. And it felt good, as the game was one of the cleanest ones he played in a while. So they stuck to their roles and played more. It wasn’t until he got two wins later that Martin decided it was time for his Janna.

The younger boy had no idea why he felt so flattered Martin trusted him enough to play that champ. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if he’d actually play it with anyone else than him. Not that he checked Martins match history and searched for the support role, which he didn’t find in any of the 20 last matches, or anything. 

The game went fine, they got the first blood and secured the first dragon. That’s when they died on bot due to a missplay from Tims side, on which Martin replayed with »No problem, we’ll get them next time«, and their top lane lost the first turret. The game got more and more intense until the teams became totally even in gold. In the 30th minute, after a failed baron steal from their side, the enemy adc got fed as well. 

"I think it’s lost. If only Vi wouldn’t throw it." Nemesis murmured as they defended the base. The kills were still even, yet the difference between the teams started being noticeable. 

"We can still win, I think. Only if Vi can finally ult Lucian. She’s playing like garbage."

Martin said with a hardly repressed tension in his voice as the game went on. Both of them were fully focused on the game, fingers sweaty and the hearts beating loudly in their chests. 

Even when they finally lost in the 45th minute, when the enemy AD Carry destroyed them, the adrenaline still rushed through their veins. This is why he loved League so much, Nemesis thought. This was the reason he kept playing no matter how hard and complicated it got. That’s why the game was still so addicting, after years of grinding. 

"Well, it was a good game." Rekkles commented after a while. Both of them were drained, but content with their preformances.

"Yeah, we almost had it. A few missplays lost us the game." Tim answered as he stretched his arms. He felt himself coming off the high the last game caused. 

"Up for one more?" He asked the older boy who quickly agreed to it. In wasn’t the last game they’ve played. In fact, it was only a start of their Janna Twitch games which they played long through the night. When they finally finished, it was almost a morning. 

"Fuck, Joey’s gonna kill us." Rekkles said as he yawned. Tim huffed at that. 

"It was worth it thought." He answered.

He wished he could see Martins expression in that moment. He wished to see if there was a smile displayed on his lips, as it was on his. He wanted to know he wasn’t the only one feeling happy and content for the first time in a while. He wanted to be there and experience all of it right next to Martin, not a few dark occupied rooms away. And all of it scared him. There was a reason Tim didn’t let anyone close after all. He build these walls around himself a long time ago, just so he could feel safe in his own skin. And through the years they just grew stronger, almost unbreakable, yet every time he talked to Martin, the world felt less overwhelming. He trusted the older boy, he wanted to talk with him about anything, everything. Because maybe, just maybe, Martin would understand. 

He was so unfamiliar with those feelings and it made him afraid. He felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest, his breath shortening as the only thing he could’ve thought of was not again. 

He made a shitty excuse about being tired and bid Martin a quick good night. Tim felt it all rushing down on him just as he turned off the computer and sat down on his bed, breathing rapidly. Why, he thought. Why does this keep happening? The questions were unanswered just like every time it happened.

It was nothing new for Tim after all. No matter how hard he tried to stop worrying, the thoughts came rushing down his mind until everything just felt too much, too overwhelming and it crashed. /He doesn’t care about you. You’re inconvenience, they were better off with Caps./ The voices in his head spoke. /You’re just wasting his time, he should’ve been resting./

He muffed his breathing with a pillow and silently battled it, until he felt numbness in his fingers and the beating of his heart calmed down.

/That’s not true./ He thought. /I can beat Caps. We will go to Worlds and then, he will notice me, if not before. I will beat Caps./

After a few minutes of deep breaths he finally stood up, felling dizzy by doing so. He felt something slide down his overheated cheek and he abruptly realized he was crying all along. There was shame, burning deep inside at the revelation. He just needed to hold it together for a few more days, until their match with Splyce. The team was working so hard for it and there was no way he’d let his emotions get in their way. He wouldn’t let it, he promised to himself, before he forced his eyes to close and tried to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, some information about this chapter:
> 
> I believe Rekkles doesn't live in the Fnatic gaming house (or at least he didn't for a part of his career), yet I've changed that for the sake of the plot. 
> 
> Clearlove Fanboy is Tims actual smurf account, however, he's not hiding the fact it's his from anyone since the December of 2018, when he posted a screenshot of him reaching Rank 1 on the account. 
> 
> I've never seen Tim duo with any of his teammates, however there are some players he often duos with. The last thing, G2 actually tweeted about doing a 24 hour stream before the LEC and they did it, if not for the whole 24 hours. The last soldier (Jankos) has fallen at 7am in the morning and did not complete the stream. 
> 
> As of the previous chapter, the only reason I've mentioned Martins ex is because he said in his recent interview that he in fact is in a relationship with a girl. So I had to end their relationship, just so I could sleep better at night :)))). 
> 
> And a question that's been bugging me about you guys.
> 
> Do you actually play league of legends? If so, which rank are you? I'm super interested in knowing that lmao. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	4. And that changed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't updated for a long time, sorry :(.   
Hope this chapter makes up for it, enjoy!

There was a tense silence in the room as the team waited to be called on the stage. They were nervous and scared to dissappoint their fans, friends and most importantly, each other. There, in the middle of the room, full of worried minds, stood a proud man. Joey wasn’t known as one of the best coaches in Europe for no reason. He knew the fears of his players as if they were his own, yet he was fully confident in the upcoming victory against Splyce. He had the best players he could’ve asked for. There was no way Splyce could beat them in their current form, he was sure of it. So the man stood proud and radiated the confidence in a room that desperately needed it. He knew their weaknesses better than anyone else. And the current Fnatic roster wasn’t weak at all.

"That’s it, boys." He said after a moment of tense silence.

They were sitting in the chairs, most of them with phones in their hands, trying to distract their minds from the approaching game. All except of one turned their heads towards him as he spoke. Tim was still lying on the chair, eyes closed and face radiating calmness. It almost looked like the boy was sleeping, but Joey knew better than that. Tim never slept, not this close to a match. He was probably listening just as intense as anyone else. Among all of the players, he looked the most relaxed, almost like he was at ease with the thoughts about the upcoming match. Joey always liked that about the mid laner, who never showed any signs of panic before the games, always being collected and prepared for anything. Yet Joey always suspected the mid laner was in the same state as others, just better at hiding the worry and anticipation. 

"It’s time to show them we’re still the best." He said before he led his team on the stage.   
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
"Guys, do you know why Splyce won last time?" Joey asked them while they waited for Splyce to ban the champions. 

"Why did they win last time?" Bwipo asked. 

"Xerxe gave a speech before the game that good players are confident and this is why we lost."

"That has to be the reason." Hyli snickered. 

"It had nothing to do that we didn’t know what spells Qiyana had." The coach observed and Hyli laughed. 

"But they’ve found confidence, and they were good too. So we need to be confident, and then we are good." Joey continued. 

"So where’s our speech?" Broxah asked. 

"Be confident, you are good."

It was the truth. They were good. 

They’ve won.

The game wasn’t as one sided as they would’ve wanted, but winning it felt great nevertheless. Mood in the gaming house was light as they arrived back, tired but excited at the same time. 

"Second seed, baby!" Bwipo cheered at the top of his lungs as they grouped in the living room. Joey was cheerfully talking to Hyli and Broxah was close by, listening to the conversation. Tim was too tired to join their enthusiastic celebration so he laid down on sofa and closed this exhausted eyes. He had a slight headache and the loud cheers really didn’t help his situation. He was tempted to just go back in his room and try to fall asleep, but instead decided to stick with the team for a little longer. A warm body sat down next to him and Tim finally opened his eyes to see who it was. He was greeted by a soft smile displayed on Rekkleses face. Seriously, the blonde should’ve smiled more, he thought as he stared at Martins beautiful face and felt his heart slamming inside his chest.

"Good game." He said quietly, the softness of his voice clashed with the loud conversation of their teammates.

"Yeah." Murmured Tim and then closed his eyes again. He was tired and in desperate need of sleep, yet there, on the sofa, he felt relaxed and safe in the presence of people who now felt less like friends and more like a family. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep listening to their, for once, happy and cheerful voices.

Martin watched him sleep for what felt like hours. The boy looked so peaceful as there were no traces of the usual frown on his face. Just looking at Tim sleeping peacefully made him feel warm inside. He was happy for the teammate, who usually had such hard time falling asleep. He cared for the boy since the beginning, when he joined Fnatic, but lately, he grew fonder of him with every passing day. Martin liked having him around. Sure, he wasn’t as loud and cheerful as others, and maybe that was the reason every hidden smile the boy gave him felt so special. 

"I see how you look at him." Broxah said quietly and disrupted Martins chain of thoughts. He didn’t even realize the conversation had ended and most of the players already left. 

"What do you mean?" Rekkles quietly asked, even though he already knew the answer. 

"You look at him the same way as you used to look at Deft." Broxah proclaimed and there was no judgement in his voice, only a brotherly concern. 

Rekkles huffed. "I have no idea what you’re talking about." He said quietly, not wanting to disrupt Tims peaceful sleep. 

"Stop lying to yourself for a second, Martin. It’s so obvious it’s not even funny anymore. You’ve fallen for him."

Martin wanted to deny it. He wanted to tell Mads he’s delusional and there’s nothing between them. Which was true, he realized. There was nothing between them, just his stupid, unreachable crush. He wanted to say he felt nothing for the boy, yet the words that came out of his mouth were far from that.

"So what?" He asked Mads as he looked at him defiantly. 

"Jesus Martin, do you even know if he’s gay?" Broxah snapped. 

"I have no idea why I’m still putting up with you." Rekkles snapped back at him and stood up to leave the room.

"I just want you to be careful." Broxah shouted behind him. 

Rekkles knew Mads was right and only wanted to help him. Ever since the incident in the bathroom, he couldn’t think about anything but it. Tim was too skinny. Too thin and almost fragile looking and he hid it behind ove rsized hoodies and jerseys. There was nothing soft on him, except maybe his untamed fluffy hair. He was nothing like Deft, who was small and curvy at all the right places. Tim was sharp and intense and Martin loved it. He was falling for the boy and the blonde had no idea how to stop it. 

At this point both of the players forgot Tim still slept there, until their arguing woke him from the sleep. He was always a light sleeper, after all. He slowly opened his eyes, for a second not sure of where he was and looked in confusion at the players in front of him. There was a moment of intense silence as Rekkles and Broxah looked at each other, completely ignoring the mid laner. Suddenly Martin turned around and left the room with quick steps. Tim sat there is silence, wondering what had just happened between the players who usually got along so good. Since the day he joined Fnatic, Nemesis never saw the jungler and ad carry fight. 

Someone put a blanket on him while he slept, he realized after he stopped staring at the spot where Martin stood just seconds ago, and blushed at the thought of his teammates seeing him asleep so carelessly. He awkwardly bit Mads, who was still speechlessly standing in the middle of the room, goodnight, and went straight to his bed. Whatever happened between the players, Tim hoped it wasn’t too serious and they would be able to figure it out eventually. He had no time nor energy to stress over it and the sleep consumed him faster than it did in weeks. 

They’ve had another game on Saturday. The match didn’t really matter, as the team already locked the second seed. They weren’t sure of what to play, even on the day of the upcoming event. Most of the week, they were so focused on the match against Splyce, they didn’t really discuss their draft. So in the morning at the breakfast, Joey talked to the team about the upcoming mach. 

"Since we’ve already locked the second seed, play whatever you want." He simply said after he swallowed a huge bite of a pancake. 

Team cheered at that and every player thought of the variety of champions they would’ve liked to play.

"I want to play Janna." Rekkles proclaimed and all of the faces turned to look at him. Broxah laughed and Bwipo huffed, yet Hyli frowned at Rekkles. 

"You’re serious." He observed and Martin nodded. 

"I can play ADC." Nemesis quickly added as the idea formed in his head. The laughter disappeared as the team actually thought about it. 

"Yeah, but we need a mid laner." Joey said. 

"I can play mid. Something like Zilean, he’s pretty op." Hyli eagerly answered him. 

"I played him a lot in solo queue lately." It was clear he liked the idea of someone else playing support role for once. 

Joey huffed. »I forgot how much my team likes to play on other roles." He smiled at them. 

"Let’s do it. But make sure we practice for a bit before the game."  
.  
.  
.  
.  
They’ve won. It was the must fun team had on stage in a while. Their fans loved the game, Tim loved the game, even though he’d never admit it. There was nothing like one of the best ADCs in the world supporting him in a competitive match and winning it. They now had two weeks to prepare for the match against G2, but Tim didn’t want to think about the upcoming match. Not now, when everyone was so hyped. For now, their happiness was enough of a distraction from any unpleasant thoughts. 

"Where you goin', coach?" Bwipo asked as Joey hurried out of the gaming house after a quick »goodbye« and »see you tomorrow«. 

"I have a date." Joey said with a smug face and Bwipo cheered. 

It was six of them, without the coach in the living room. Broxah brought the liquor, and just like the last time, eagerly started dealing shots. Tonight, Dan also joined them and quickly fell in a intense discussion with Hyli, who yet again, failed to notice his glass being filled every time he drank the liquor. Rekkles sat on sofa with unreadable expression as he stared somewhere in the distance. Tim joined him after some time and was met by Martins now familiar smile which left him hardly suppressing the blush threatening to bloom on his cheeks.  
The brunette had no idea when they transitioned from nodding to smiling at each other, but it didn’t bother him at all. He might’ve even liked it, and it became harder and harder to deny it. They sat in silence, comforted by each others presence as they watched others get tipsy from all the alcohol. At some point, Bwipo slipped out of the room, probably for a private conversation with his girlfriend. Hyli was back at it again, falling asleep on Broxah who was casually stroking his hair. They watched them until all of the players slowly fell asleep in the living room. It was strangely comforting, seeing everyone at peace, in contrast with the usual chaos they caused in the gaming house. Tim stretched his sleepy arms after some time and looked at Rekkles. Sometime in the night, the blonde turned on the sofa so he was facing Nemesis rather than the other side of the room. He was watching the boy with an intense blue stare that faltered only as their eyes met. Tim held his breath as he stared back at Martin. His heart slammed inside his chest and shivers ran down his spine as he noticed how close they were, yet he couldn’t look away. He stared right back at Martin and his impossibly blue eyes. Everything around them fell in the silence, suddenly nothing else mattered.

They stared at each other and Tim knew it was not normal, to look at a friend, a teammate, like that. He shouldn’t be staring at Martin, wanting, hoping, for things he didn’t even dare to voice. His heart shouldn’t skip a beat every time the blonde smiled at him. His hands shouldn’t be sweating just because Martin was sitting so close, their bodies almost touching. His mind shouldn’t be blank of everything else than Martin, Martin, Martin. He shouldn’t feel so eager to close the gap between them, giving in, and finally kissing those full lips. Yet he did and the boy realized he didn’t care at all. 

Tim caught Rekkles staring at him and for a tense moment, the blonde was scared Tim would find it weird, wrong even. He was prepared for the imminent rejection that was bound to happen, he was sure of it. But much to his surprise, Tim didn’t look away in disgust. He didn’t even blush. The boy stared right back at Martin with eyes that were far from shy. They were bold and intense and just so Tim and they made Rekkles feel warm inside. So what if Deft broke him once? So what if he questioned every decision leading to this moment? At least he had this. He had this moment with Nemesis and no one could take it from him. For now, he had this and it was enough. 

Martin leaned in slowly, giving the younger boy a chance to back off. The brunette stayed completely still as he slowly closed his eyes and waited in anticipation. 

Finally, Martins lips met his and they melted at each other. It was just a kiss, a soft press of their lips, but it felt better than any kiss ever should. Tim breathed heavily as Rekkles backed off with a concerned expression on his face, worrying if he read the situation wrong and just did an awful mistake. He wasn’t sure if he did the right thing. Hell, he wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Neither was Tim.

The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted more. The need, the want, consumed him as he stared at Martins worried blue eyes. He didn’t give himself a chance to think it through as he leaned back in and kissed Martin. This time, the kiss was deeper, needier and Tim loved every second of it. He grabbed Martins hoodie and pulled him closer in an embrace. Martin smiled into the kiss and lifted his hands, slowly caressing Tims jaw with one and brushed his untamed hair with the other. 

"What the fuck?"

Both players separated in a second, turning around to the source of the sound. Hylissang looked at them with wide, shocked eyes, his mouth slightly gaping. Tims mouth was suddenly dry as he couldn’t think of anything to tell to his teammate. Martin slowly opened his mouth and then closed them again, like he was unsure of what to say. They sat in tense silence, all of them unsure of what to say, choking on words. Hyli stared at them and then slowly closed his eyes, shifting his head on the side in a strange manner. Both players waited in anticipation of what the support will say. Zdravets opened his mouth, shaping the words. Before anyone could say anything, he puked all over his hoodie and fell asleep again. 

"Oh my god." Tim groaned in disgust. The intense moment was broken as both of the players jumped at their feet and woke up Broxah in the process. 

"I’m out of here. I’m getting sick just watching him." Nemesis said, barely holding back his own puke. He rushed to the bathroom, leaning over the wash basin, trying to calm his breathing. He looked at himself in the mirror. Did he look any different? Now that he knew how addictive Martins lips were? He for sure felt different, his heart still stammering inside the chest, failing to calm down. He liked Martin for some time now, he knew that, it was not a sudden revelation after all. Martin liked him too, he was sure of it now. And that changed everything.


End file.
